"Far from Over"

Arriving to Boston on Wednesday afternoon was bitter sweet. Bitter, because not only did I have a fever and a headache the entire plane ride, but also the airline lost one of my bags and on the way to Boston I must have been stopped at every random search checkpoint! Sweet, well of course because I got to be reunited with my beautiful family and friends again (who have been taking great care of me by the way). Today is Saturday and I am feeling a lot better (minus the stomach pains and sore muscles) and I’m finally begging to recap on my journey in Trinidad and Tobago and put what I’ve learned to good use. One of the main underlying messages relayed to us was figuring out “who we are” and “what is our purpose” and there is a lot packed into those phrases. I’ve been battling with who I am for quite a while now, simply because I am at the age where I “should” know these things. I’m going on to my fourth year in college, my second internship and in the midst of my 21^st year of life, so I “should” know where I’m headed, right? WRONG! Sunity Best taught us that life is a lesson and instead of trying to figure it out we shouldn’t get caught up with where we “should” be and spend time thinking about where we want to be. Sunity, and all of the other scholars in Trinidad that gave us their time reminded me that my life, is my own and only I can control my destiny. Arriving to Boston and waking up with a semi-clear brain this morning, all of my experiences in Trinidad began to rush into my memory. Christo, LeRoy, Sunity, Ella, Efuwapwe, Rawale, Tony (both of them), Ivan, Rohler, Muhammed, Michael Phillips, Naarie, and Moose have all been detrimental players in my journey in Trinidad. Separately, they may be Mas players, journalists, professors and artists but together they represent one thing, Trinidad. They represent a growing culture birthed by these intellectuals and elders and nurtured by the community. Living in Boston I’ve lost that togetherness and sense of community that is so prevalent in Trinidad, and being there helped me to recapture it. I’ve also learned that life isn’t all about the choices you make but, how you make them and where they will lead you. Taking this dialogue and traveling to Trinidad was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. I’ve met people who we (Americans) would consider celebrities to be so grounded approachable and eager to meet me. I’ve hiked through the forest and swam under a waterfall, I picked a mango right off of a tree, I sang with Ella Andall, and I painted on a LeRoy Clark original. Through this experience I have become a stronger person and am now on the journey to finding my true self and the rest of my life.

Yellowgirl can only quote Drake at this moment and say "It's far from over"!

Final projects... then TOBAGO!

My group which was the Mas group presented and did extremely well! For our final presentations we created a mini documentary and played traditional Mas for our audience. The experience was great and it brought me back to my old theater days. Once the presentations and the papers were done we headed to Tobago for our last few days in the country for some RxR and it was wonderful.......

(The beautiful beach in Tobago)

(Tobago sunset)

(Small plane back from Tobago to Trinidad)

Yellowgirl can't believe how beautiful Tobago is!!

Meeting the Elders.

(LeRoy Clarke original painting from Legacy House)

Aside from the stress of our group projects we only had a few days left in Trinidad. On one of those nights the group chose to go back to the Legacy house for Dr.B and Dr.P to bless the house with their music. We listened to great music, met great people and even got to paint on LeRoy Clark's paintings. After the fun and music, LeRoy sat us all down and sat Ms. Sunity Best and Mr. Earl Lovelace down next to him. He spoke to us about the importance of his life experiences two great friends sitting next to him who were there through his journey, and they spoke both good and bad about their old friend. Looking at these three accomplished elders and all that they have established in all of their years of existence gave me hope and confidence. The confidence that one day acquire the knowledge and life experiences to be an elder. And the hope that I will be able to pass on my knowledge to others who are as well deserving as we were that night.

(LeRoy Clarke and myself)

(Our musical talent for the evening)

(Me and established author and writer Earl Lovelace)

I left the Legacy house once again liberated, but this time it was musically, spiritually, and all of the above. I truly think the Legacy house is a place where knowledge and spirituality are painted on every wall and stamped on every tile and floor board. Visiting the Legacy house was and will always be an experience.

Yellowgirl is inspired by these great people here in Trinidad and hopes that one day I can be telling my story to young people.

"Music is the gift after life itself"- Ella Andall

Today, we met Ms. Ella Andall (above left) who is both a singer (a very good one) and an Orisha priest. Not to mention the mother of Efuwapwe, who we've met a few days prior. She talked about the rhythm of life and finding your own rhythm. When she was talking about this I once again, began to think about how I can apply this lesson to my own life. Instead of always listening to what others say and tell me to do with my life I must find my own way, my own rhythm. Intertwined with this lesson she gave each person in the room a sound to make and we created music, with only our voices and bodies, which are essential instruments in Orisha music. We then, got real close and sang with Ms. Ella, any song that came to our minds. This was very exciting because not only were we all getting the opportunity to sing with Ella Andall but through her presence a lot of people broke out of their shells and sang "I Remember" with gusto. At the end of her time with us she asked us if we had any questions about finding our own beat/rhythm to follow, however everyone asked her questions about herself. I could sense her want to get to know us and learn from us and her dismay that we had only inquired to know about herself. However, she welcomed and answered all of our questions happily. Ella, very much like all of the other wonderful people we have met here in Trinidad was open and giving. Once again I am blessed I got the opportunity to meet her and listen to her sing, this trip just keeps getting better and better.

Yellowgirl is wondering what can possibly be next!

Final 3 days of Steel pan lessons.

(Carrie, Me and Will being creative with our sticks)

Day 3

Today was the third day of steel pan lessons and we learned a new song and practiced “the waltz”. Mr. Headley helped me to better understand how to count and stay on beat with the pan. I think I had it a lot easier today, in reference to the ascending and descending of the chromatic scale because I had the notes written on my pan (a little bit of a cheat). We also learned the G major scale (I think that’s what it is called). Today was better than yesterday because it didn’t rain the entire session, which was kind of bitter sweet because it was very hot! All in all, it was a very good day and I think I’m getting the hang of playing the steel pan.

Day 4

Today was the fourth day of our steel pan lessons with Mr. Headley and we learned another new song. The song is called “love me tender” by the late, the great Elvis Priestley. He played the song for us before he taught it and assumed that we would all know the tune but me, not being an Elvis fan was clueless to what he was playing. Learning this song was different than the others; it required a little bit more skill, and being able to not get caught up in the other sounds in the band. Tomorrow we are going to continue and perfect “love me tender” and hopefully get a few smooth runs without messing up or confusing one another. I would say that playing the steel pan isn’t as much technique, as it is feeling. I’m interested to see what tomorrows steel pan lesson brings.

Day 5

Today was the last day of steel pan lessons with Mr. Headley, which was bitter sweet for me because I no longer had to wake up at 7am to rain. But on the other hand I really liked learning how to play the steel pan and learning new tunes as well. So, today we simply went over the songs we had already learned which are “the waltz”, “Cuando, Cuando” and “Love me Tender”. Mr. Headley brought his son and his nephew to rehearsal today, which was really cool because his son was our drummer (who was really good by the way). Him bringing them also gave me a sense of the importance of music in his family and the Trinidadian culture. I was still a little rusty on “Love me tender” but I would have to say “The Waltz” is my favorite tune. I think that today and the first day we began learning how to play the steel pan are the most significant days out of the five of our lessons. Looking back on the first day, I barely knew what a steel pan was and how on earth one would play such an odd instrument. But from this entire week I’ve learned all of the notes on my tenor pan, 3 songs, and chord progressions and also that the steel pan has a significant history behind it. All in all the lessons were extremely helpful and I’m thankful that I had the opportunity to learn to play the steel pan from an amazing man, Mr. Headley.

*Learning how to play the steel pan was definately something new and exciting for me. I got to learn a new instrument and it only took me 5 days to learn the basics, which is pretty amazing! All in all (as I've stated in my reflection above) this experience opened me up to one more aspect of myself that I never knew I even had! I love this!*

Steel pan, Day 2

Today was day 2 of learning how to play steel pan with Mr. Headley. The morning didn’t start off too well for me because it was raining cats and dogs! Personally, I just think the rain puts a damper on the rest of the day. Although the rain got me down, my spirits were lifted once we got out of the Maxi Taxi and arrived into the pan yard. During this session we continued to learn the rest of the tune “The Waltz”, which seemed complicated at first, but once you get the hang of it, it’s really simple. I was having trouble with the note progression that he also taught us; I just couldn’t remember which note goes directly after the other. After playing for majority of the morning, Mr. Headley gave us a little more history on the steel pan and its correlation to calypsos. He sang and played on the steel pan the U.S national anthem as well as the Trinidadian national anthem. It was interesting to hear him play the national anthem on the steel pan because I had never heard it with that instrument and, I haven’t recited the national anthem since the 8^th grade. The other calypsos he played were fun and all had an underlying message. Listening to Mr. Headley talk about the history of the steel pan I realized that all of our project topics, Mas, Kaiso, and Orisha are all interlocking in Trinidadian history. It’s almost like you can’t mention one topic without using the others as reference points and vice versa. All in all, today’s lesson gave me a better feel for the pan and also helped me to see that spirituality, music, and performing in Trinidadian culture are all dependant upon each other. The pan is very vital not only to Trinidadian history but to everyone’s history it represents freedom, power and many other things. I’m happy that we are learning how to play this instrument and happy that we are learning its roots. Lastly, we are supposed to be learning a new song on the pans tomorrow and I’m really excited, I can’t get the tunes out of my head!

Learning Steel pan, Day 1

Today was the first Steel Pan lesson at the Bird Song steel pan yard, right down the street from Rawle Gibbons’ bookstore. I initially went into this experience excited and not really knowing what to expect. Before arriving in Trinidad I was briefly introduced to the steel pan at Carnival held in both Cambridge and Boston. Also, one of my high-school classmates used to play and I always thought of it as such a weird instrument. Our steel pan instructors name was Harold Headley, which I expected to be very stern and down to business because of what we’ve heard from Dr. B however, Mr. Headley was in fact very nice. We started off listening to a short lecture of the history of the steel pan by Mr. Headley. The information was interesting and a lot of what we had already learned in previous lessons about the history of Trinidad. But I missed most of it because Mr. Headley was soft spoken during his lecture, I could barely hear what he had to say and the outdoor noise was adding to the faintness of his voice. Either the loud cars, or the rain hitting against the tin roofs drowned him out. He wrote letters, and notes on the board, which meant absolutely nothing to me because I couldn’t hear any of the explanation behind it. Finally, after struggling to hear Mr. Headley speak, he introduced us to the steel drums that we going to learn how to play. There were 4 different kinds of pans that we were assigned to, and I chose to play the Tener pan (which little did I know carried the most notes in the band). He taught us all of the notes on the pan, which was what he was writing on the board, and then everything made so much more sense to me. The pans, are all really cool too because each section of the pan makes a different sound which ultimately creates an entire song. By the end of the session we (the whole group) played the tune “The Waltz” and it sounded really good! I was so proud that all of us, we were so good and played well together. I’m excited to see what tomorrow brings! I’m also excited to be able to get some of our own pan sticks and take them home as souvenirs.

Where tha party at!?

Above all of the learning and growing that we've done, we have still found time to enjoy the Trinidadian night life. From beaches to clubs, to bars we all travel in a group and have crazy fun!

*A few of us at the beach as the sun went down. BEAUTIFUL*

*Our first night at club Zen*

*Bar hopping in Port of Spain*

*Foam party at club Zen*

*Our first night out at club 51 degrees*

Yellow girl is lovin' the night life here. Free drinks! Say waaaaaaaa

IRE-AIKU*IRE-AJE*IRE-ULE*IRE-ISEGUN

Four Blessings

IRE-AIKU: Long life, health

IRE-AJE: Wealth, prosperity

IRE-ULE: Growth/development, continuation

IRE-ISEGUN: Victory over all center forces

Yesterday we had a speaker come in to speak to us about Orishas and the Shangoh Baptist religion. The man that came in was named Efuwape (sp?) and he is also the son of an Orisha priest Ella Andall, who is very prominent over here in Trinidad. To sum up what he told us about Orishas and the Shango Baptist religion basically “Orisha” is not the religion, “Orishas” are different deities that represent a certain form of spirituality. For example, one might stand for strength while another Orisha stands for weakness and they all have names and purposes. So, when one who is a Shango Baptist prays, depending on the issue they are trying to defeat they call upon the Orisha that can assist them in that situation. After telling us some background about the Orishas Efuwape told us a personal story about how he found spirituality in the Orishas/Shango Baptist. He was in his 20’s (he didn't really specify his age) and was leaving a club in New York late at night and he was mistaken for someone else in the street and was taken into an alley way. 5 men surrounded him in this alley as he pleaded to them for his life and tried to explain he was not who they were looking for all the while they had a loaded gun shoved in his mouth. This whole time he was praying to god to save him, not really knowing if there was a god, as the trigger was pulled into his mouth, the gun didn’t go off! So the men just started to stab him all over continuously until he had no fight left in him and fell to the floor. With the little life he had, he heard a voice tell him to play dead, he listened, held his breath and pretended. The 5 men believed their work to be done and started to walk away, after holding his breath for so long he went into shock and started shaking. The men noticed, went back to him and broke a knife in the back of his neck. All the while, he was still alive! As soon as they left he thought he was definitely going to die, but the voice came back and told him to get up and run, RUN! Despite his weakness, and bloody body he got up and ran to stop a van which then took him to the hospital after about 20 minutes. So at this point he had been stabbed over 100 times in his head, half a knife in his neck and stab wounds all over his body. Once he got to the hospital he got stitched up and they realized he still had half a knife in the back of his head, so once they took it out he said made him pass out. 3 days after was his first experience with Orisha’s and spirituality, which he was reluctant to attend but did anyways. At this gathering/ feast (feast- celebration done every year to honor a certain Orisha and manifest that Orisha in the body of a human) he was touched by an Orisha which healed him of headaches he’s had all his life and at this time the human that was possessed told him the story of his near death experience. He was still reluctant to this new spirituality until the second time when an Orisha manifested in though the body of a famous Calypsonian which healed the wounds on his hands and told him the story of his experience again. Ever since then, he has devoted himself to this belief system. So, it was crazy to hear this story because this is something seen in movies and now I can say I’ve met someone who’s had one of these experiences! Not being a very spiritual or religious person this put the idea of spirituality, its wide ranged affects and the African retentions in this Trinidadian belief system. Once again I am inspired to find a belief system that I can fit into and relate to. I love the fact that all of the people we are meeting, tell us about the history as well as putting our own self to question as to values, beliefs, and identity. DOPE is all I can say, very happy I’m on this island!!!

Yellow girl is in a different mindset*

Maracas v. Las Cuevas

Today (Saturday) we had another free day and most of us decided to go to the beach. Usually we go to Maracas beach but today we decided to go to a beach a few minutes further than Maracas call Las Cuevas and it was well worth it!

The beach was so nice and so much fun! We got to see the sun set which was so beautiful on any beach! I have to say that although Maracas beach is really nice and tourist friendly Las Cuevas is prettier and a little more secluded! So I guess Las Cuevas takes the cake!

The sunset at Las Cuevas

Maracas Beach

What can I say? Yellowgirl loves the beach

To LOVE is to know.

Today was another really really great and enlightening day. We traveled to Port of Spain to visit a man named LeRoy Clarke, when I say "man" I should really say artist, poet and someone with enough wisdom to fill up the whole island of Trinidad. We went to his home which is called the "Legacy House" and he calls it a live in museum. Its a large house on a hill that is covered with all of his paintings and trinkets he's collected over his lifetime. When we first arrived he told us to make ourselves at home and take a look around. All of the walls contained large canvases of his paintings and some from other artists, but mostly his own.

He even let us look into his bedroom which was one of the most beautiful spaces I've ever seen! It's located on the corner of the house so its surrounded with windows and soo much natural light. Anyone could get inspired by sitting in that room, and just to think that's where he sleeps! So after we all take a walk or two around this EPIC home we sit down in a circle and begin talking. To make a really long story short LeRoy is an amazing poet/artist who's work is hanging up in museums around the world, he believes in Orishas and he is extremely spiritual. He spoke to us about his paintings and all of the journeys he went on with many of them. I guess one could say he is somewhat of an abstract artist. He talked about how in his 71 years of life, he's still on a journey and he separates his artistic life through Trinidad in three phases: The Douens, El Tucuche and the pyramid (or similar to the shape of the pyramid) each has significance to Trinidadian life and life in general. After long conversations about his Art, once again, the conversation about finding your self arose. LeRoy talked about our inner devils and in order to get rid of them we must face them and tell them to "FUCK OFF" and yes, he actually said fuck off. He touched on love, happiness and "the journey" a lot. I was mesmerized by the way he spoke and his use of language, I always say you can tell when you're talking to a writer because they have a way of captivating you. He spoke softly and had a Trinidadian accent but, I heard, listened, and understood every word he spoke. I began to think about my own life and what I'm put on this earth to do and to be. We often think about what the earth can do for me, instead of thinking what can I do for the Earth. Personally, I struggle with understanding who I am and what meaning my life has. I've been defined by so many people that I no longer know whether or not my definition of myself is my own. I've also learned to put up so many walls because I'm afraid if people see the real me that they may not like it or that I may not reach the standards I'm supposed to. So, now realizing that I have these walls up is the first step towards tearing them down, reaching my spirituality and my true character. Aside from my own revelations LeRoy introduced us to his protegee Muhammed, he's about 27 years old and is a poet and really really good at spoken word (he was one of the people that came in to show us about MAS). He recited in spoken word one of his love letters that he wrote to his girlfriend and when I say WOWZAAA I mean it! That poem was one of the best I've ever heard, so romantic, rebellious and structured soooo well! I really hope he reaches the goals he wants and I believe he will be just like LeRoy someday. The time came for us to leave but, LeRoy asked us to stay and have a glass of scotch with him, he hit on the ladies a little and told us about his past love endeavors as well. He said two things that I will never forget:
1. To love is to know.
2. "Age aint nuttin but a numba', girls wanna get their mind fucked": Meaning, once u get into her head sex no longer matters because she's already been captivated.

Some other LeRoy quotes that I enjoyed:

(From one of my group mates notes)

"I know my own loneliness, and it's expensive."

"I like war."

"I had the extra blessing of knowing I was blessed."

"My paintings are my paintings, but they are not my paintings."

"And you are going to make me beautiful if you read me."

"You must learn how to dance the language."

Best experience ever!

Yellowgirl is in awe!

Caribbean Culture.

Today Sunity came in and taught us about Caribbean culture and the history of Trinidad itself. Yes, it was a history lesson and yes, I do not like history but when Sunity's teaching it is never boring. It's as if she captivates you with her intelligence, she even taught me some things about Haiti that I'd never known. The second part of our day consisted of Ivan (our bus driver if I didn't already mention) taking us on a tour of Cuerep (the city in which we are staying). We got back fairly early so we walked to get some KFC, yes I said KFC! some people in the states said we had to try it and that it was wayyy better then the KFC we have. So, I tried it. anddddd its pretty much the same, I can say that I will not be back. So tonight we're gonna go out to club Zen in Port of spain it should be a lot of fun I'm hearing good stuff about this place. high hopes. But for now, we do have a quiz tomorrow so I'm gonna go study for that. 2 fingassss

Yellow Girl is tireeeddd and needs a nap

Rain fall, Calypso calls

Day 2 of classes was another fulfilling/eyeopening experience. Firstly, it rained soo much today NON-STOP which brings true meaning to "rainy season"! A man named Winfred James came into our class to teach us about linguistics of Trinidad and Tobago. He taught us about the pronunciation of words and what different words mean as well. The second part of his lesson involved him showing us how we would say certain things in Trinidad's form of English. Seeing and hearing are two vital senses but seeing the actual language on paper was a great learning mechanism for me. The second part of the day, Sunity was supposed to come and speak to us again, but something came up so she couldn't make it (by the way, I love her!) so Prof. Brown and Price taught us their intended lesson plan for tomorrow. Price started us off with talking about assumption and how we should always ask before we assume. He then put on a DVD that looked like it was supposed to be a documentary on MAS or masquerade. There was a lot of info in it but it was very poorly done and looked unedited. After-wards Price asked us our take on it, and we told him that it wasn't a very good production. He let us talk and then told us it was fieldwork that was unedited and not the final product, and went on to say we shouldn't assume. And we were kind of like okayyyy well that seems like a trap, but in order to get our brains jogging/sprinting Price likes to give us riddles. The conversation soon turned into our feelings on blending into this new culture and how comfortable people felt in this situation. Now, coming from a place where me (a person of color) is normally the minority I was interested to see what everyone elses feelings were. Some talked about being completely comfortable, and others about not wanting to blend in and continue to be themselves. Most of the conversation I stayed out of, not because I was afraid or anything of that nature, but because I wanted to hear and really listen to responses and feelings. Race is always a sticky subject which is why I'm happy it was discussed, but I can only hope it doesn't change the group dynamic. Finally, at the end of the day we saw a performance called "Women of Calypso" this performance was breath taking to me because I always love to see empowered women doing things where normally only men reside.

The women of calypso *from left to right*(Shareene, Singing Sandra, Kissie)

There were three female Calypsonians that had their own stories on how they got into calypso and what it meant to them. From what I've learned so far calypso is a music form used to relay messages, mostly political and is prominent in places like Trinidad. Although the sound wasn't all that great the singers were great and performed really well. I really want to download some of the songs they sang! It seems like these days are going by so fast! Also, this was the first day we had really heavy rain! I'm happy because we arrived right after Trinidad had one of their biggest droughts in 40 years and rain was so helpful to them, but I personally hate the rain! hopefully it doesn't rain when we go to the beach.

Praising the women of calypso and hopes that one day I can captivate power as they have. Two thumbs up!

First Day of class

So it was the first day of class Monday, and the past four days we've been here it's hard to even believe we are here for research and to learn! Especially since the previous day we went to Maracas beach (to the left), sooo nice!! Getting into school mode was hard for me, but the course curriculum is so fun and interesting it doesn't even seem like school. Each of our academic days for the first two weeks are structured from 8:30am to 4:30pm with a break in between from 11:30 to 1:30. I know, sounds rigorous but it's not as bad as it seems. According to the schedule a lot of that time will be spent on tours and learning about the country. So, the first half of the day our two professors who birthed the Afro-Caribbean Music Research Project (ACMRP) talked to us about conducting research and a lot of the technical reasons as to why we are here and what we will be doing. The second half of the day was one of the most enlightening experiences I've ever had in my life. Sunity came in for the 1:30-4:30 session she started off with two activities having to due with the human nature, which basically explained that we have more similarities as humans than differences. She asked us if we've ever asked ourselves the question "who am I?" and I, much like my other group mates have asked ourselves that question many times, but have yet to find the answer. She taught us that life is about living and being happy, and if you are unhappy it's a waste of life. Although she was talking to everyone in the group I felt as though her words were aimed directly towards me. She said many of the same things I've heard before but how she said it and the context of which it was said touched me differently. I thank her for that experience and I took a lot away from it.... On another note! I've realized that my spending has been crazy and I've only been out here for 4-5 days! I need to BUDGET BUDGET BUDGET!

Yellowgirl is wondering how do I focus on school when in such a beautiful place!?

5/19-->5/23 TRINIDAD!!!

Welcome to TRINIDAD! All 14 of us arrived in Trinidad on the 19th of May with the expectation to learn about music and culture of the Caribbean island. I walked out of the airport and was smacked in the face with the heat and humidity of this tropical island. Palm trees, and cars on the opposite side of the road were some of the few signifier's that I was not in Massachusetts anymore (thank god!). The past five days I've tried new foods and curried versions of old foods. I've met influential people that taught me about the importance of carnival, and nature. Before classes begin and we get into the meat of this research project we've already experienced soo much of the culture!!
This is at the waterfall after our hike. It was like finding gold at the end of the rainbow! (me and Brittany)

The Roti meal we prepared at Sunity's house. yum yum yum

(The first mango stand we saw!!)

Yellowgirl is sooo excited to see more!